I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
