I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
