and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
