I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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