ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
