yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
