it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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