i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
