Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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