Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
