then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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