she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
