I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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