What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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