Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
