be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
