kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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