barbara walters just said penis...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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