this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
