Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
