Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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