didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im holly from the hills drunk
pop tarts are not kleenex
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
