He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Houston, we have a squirter
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
