In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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