Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
