I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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