I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
