if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
