So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
