The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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