i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
