it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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