dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
