just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
