i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
