I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
