I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
