I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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