Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
