stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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