I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
