I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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