Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize