I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
