You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
handjob tips. give me some.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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