This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize