Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Your penis caused this!
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