Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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