we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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