I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
