it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize