i already hear my dad disowning me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
