Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
