I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
