His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
