Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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