Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
