I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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