remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
