Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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