Im at strip club and am horny
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
