It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
